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Author Topic: Team From Hell  (Read 23489 times)

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Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« on: April 22, 2003, 11:42:13 AM »
The team from hell



Starring everybody?s favourite Gigolo Qin



Welcome to Team docs team

Me: Hey guys whats happening?

Team Doc: Hello

Team Fixer: Hello

Team Adv: Yo

Team Enf: Duh



Ok so now I am happy I have almost a full team with a doc, and its not a bad mix either



Me: Groovy so almost a full team with a doc, you know somthin doc I love ya already for healing me

Team Doc: Yeah I know



Hmm slightly arrogant but we can get past that the fact she is wearing a bikini helps



Team Adv: Yo guys get the Soldier he roxxors

Me: Ok a soldier does good damage that will work nicely

Team Enf: Duh

Team Fixer: God damnit big pile of stinking horse shit



Ok the fixers got tourettes syndrome but I can handle that, so this ?roxxor? Soldier joins us



Team Soldier: Yeeehaw lets go and blow shit up

Me: Um?.ok hello

Team Doc: Well I guess that means I will have to save you

Team Adv: Ten four good buddy that?s a go go go on the rader big time killin on the radar

Team Fixer: Fuckem fuckem up the arse god damnit!!!

Team Enf: Duh?..



Right so I starts to dawn on me I?m with a group of escaped mental patients



Me: Ok who?s grabbing the mission?



Then there was silence



Me: Ok I?ll grab the mission then we can go to Broken Shores and hopefully make a few levels?

Team Doc: But its awful at BS the sand gets in my hair

Me: well you got any better plans?

Team Doc: nope

Me: Then BS it is



So I go grab the mission and we start making a move



Team Fixer: How do I get to fucking bollocks shit bastard Broken fucking shores?



Hmmm a fixer that does not know of the grid I may be in trouble?..



To be continued?.
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Tenzis

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Team From Hell
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2003, 01:51:58 PM »
:shock:  fixers are not that stupid... ;)



hehe Nice so far, can't wait for the next part ;) :lol:
There is a time for everyone, but that time can come faster if you step on a fixers foot.



SpawnyTenzis The Most Evil Fixer In The World And Goddess of War



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Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2003, 02:34:47 PM »
i'll be adding to it Mon-Fri glad you liked it
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Bananaz

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Team From Hell
« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2003, 07:52:22 PM »
Great team!  :shock:



Could do without the "sane" person called Qin, tho  :P

Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #4 on: April 24, 2003, 11:36:56 AM »
The Second section



Finally I get to the mission and I wait for the team to show.



Team Fixer left your team.



Me: Ok where did he go?

Team Doc: It does not affect me so I do not care to show any interest in this issue

Team Soldier: Lousy varmint left us I say track him down and shoot a cap in his ass

Team Adv: Got an MP in my sights 3 clicks North north east on the scope looking for invite

Team Doc: I suppose we could get the MP they are very ugly so it will just make me look better

Me: Ok someone recruit him



Turns out the MP is a bit of a mute and the only thing we have to talk to is his demon pet commonly known as team demon.



Me: Welcome to hell

Team Doc: yes hello but do not stand to close to me

Team Soldier: Well howdy stranger

Team Enf: Duh me enforcer smash

Team Adv: Yo MP welcome to the club. What out boogie on your right!!!! No Timmy don?t let them get your RUN!!!!!!!!!

Team Demon: I will eat your brains



Ok now I am starting to panic I thought it would be a blessing to lose the fixer but it turns out we might have been better off. So after 30 minutes of sitting in the mission waiting for people and finding that I had completed a rubikaix cube (very similar to a rubix cube but even less interesting) The team show up.



Team Doc: this place is disgusting I would fire the maid

Team Adv: This looks like my bedroom

Team Doc: You disgust me



Ok this I find funny so I start giggling



Team Adv: We got unfriendlys in the next room prep yourself and get ready for a hostile combat situation

Me: Dude your SAD

Team Soldier: Yeeehaw let the shooting begin

Team Enf: Enforcer Smash!!!!



With that the three of them charge into the room like a fat kid with an addiction to cookies.



Me: Doc you gonna go and heal them?

Team doc: And risk breaking a nail? Are you insane?

Me: Damn it that?s your job keeping people alive

Team Doc: No my job is to look nice and attract people to a team and let them die and only keep my own health above average.

Me: No its to keep people alive ask any doc

Team Doc: I am not just ?Any? doc I am the greatest

Team Demon: I wanna eat your brains



Me: Right ok I?ll go heal them

Team Soldier: This is as much fun as?..



At this point the Soldier gets a free trip to the reclaim do not pass go do not collect 200 creds.



To Be continued
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Tenzis

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Team From Hell
« Reply #5 on: April 24, 2003, 02:12:10 PM »
LOL! keep em commin ;)
There is a time for everyone, but that time can come faster if you step on a fixers foot.



SpawnyTenzis The Most Evil Fixer In The World And Goddess of War



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Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2003, 12:11:31 PM »
Team Soldier: dang nabbit what in tarnashion am I doing here?

Team Adv: Run for it Mickey!!!! Shhhhhhh To many Shhhhhhhh must signal for immediate evac Shhhhhhhhh

Me: That?s what happens when you run into a room full of people obviously much tougher than you.



So I do my best to keep healing the Adv but as he is almost healed the ground begins to shake and the big dumb enf starts healing himself



Me: No you fool don?t mongo!!!!!!!!

Team Enf: ATROX SMASH!!!!

Team Demon: I am going to eat your brains

Me: Demon then your gonna starve of hunger

Team Doc: I am far to important to care about healing you

Team Adv: Hostiles incoming!!!!

Me: Shut up Adv we know they are already here and they kicked your ass already and the Soldier aswell

Team Adv: Transmission received waiting on standby

Me: Ok people hide!



So everyone starts hiding apart from the demon and the doc.



Team Doc: Hide? Are you mad? These people will see pure beauty and stop in their tracks

Team Demon: I will eat your brain

Team Doc: You little foul demon you disgust me



Due to the dumb Atrox the mobs start swarming all towards the main hall I hand the rest of the team sacks and tell them to get in and hide and I to the same with another and tell them to blend in with the reset of the rubbish bins. But the doc and demon stay in the room arguing



Team Doc: get away from me you ugly beast

Team Demon: I will eat your brain?

Team Doc: No you will?.



Then the mob is upon them



Team Doc: Bask in my beauty you filthy wart on the testicle of a Rhinoman



The mob stunned by what the doc said and look at eachother



Mob1: Huh?

Mob2: You came here to die?

Mob3: Kill you I will

Team Doc: Obvioisly you?re the brains of Rubika

Mob4:Ok Bitch that?s enough out of you.

Mob5: Kill the tart

Team Doc: You can?t kill me I am too???



Changing area



Team Doc: Beautiful? My god the reclaim Terminal is dirty

Team Soldier: Well Howdy Ma?am nice to meet you again

Team Doc: You too ugly to be talking to me



Meanwhile, the mobs are poking about looking for the rest of us they seem not too bothered about the demon who just keeps repeating ?I will eat your brains? but one of the mobs has put a dress on him and sunglasses and is pising himself with laughter at the prospect. I hear the mobs coming out way.



Mob2:I am sure I heard something in here

Mob5: Hmm the bin men havn?t been yet

Mob3: I think they?re hiding



At this point one walks over the fist sack and kicks it and to my surprise and pleasure it?s the Adv who just lets out a noise like a roller rat so they move to the next bag, when they kick it nothing happens obviously it?s the one with the MP, then my bag is kicked and I squeal like a rollerrat. So they move to the last sack the one containing the enf. And they kick it



Team Enf: Potatoes

Mob2: its only a sack of potatoes



What? He got away with the cunning disguise of a sack of talking potatoes?



Mob3: Wait a minute potatoes don?t talk its an intruder!!!



Then the mobs pile in on the enf and the last words we hear are



Team Enf: ATROX SMASH



Te be continued?
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Tenzis

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Team From Hell
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2003, 02:46:45 PM »
w00t i love this story ;) keep it commin i want more ;)





Stupid Trox enf :)
There is a time for everyone, but that time can come faster if you step on a fixers foot.



SpawnyTenzis The Most Evil Fixer In The World And Goddess of War



Tenzis Fixer Unit Leader Storm

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Offline Suricia

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Team From Hell
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2003, 03:14:41 PM »
lmao  This is great. I want more!
Welcome To The Night,

Welcome To The Darkness,

Welcome To The Inky Black,

For Here I Can See Your Soul.

Shall we play some more?



Lady "Suricia" Darkfyre

Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #9 on: May 02, 2003, 07:13:56 AM »
ok i'll write some more later
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Hollowpower

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Whu?
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2003, 07:52:04 AM »
haha.. mate this is kewl.. keep it up  :twisted:
[Team]Ancients: id luv to kick some Stromers and Reds in rl

[Team]Ancients: if i met rekido or locol on the street id spit and kick their fucking heads off

Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2003, 01:13:19 PM »
By request the next installment. Enjoy





Ok so we had not got past the initial room and we had lost 50% of the team the doc, the soldier and the enforcer. We had no hard hitters left apart from myself and the Adventurer oh and the mute MP.

The MP?s demon was now starting to look like he was beginning to like his new dress and look and when the mobs moved on back to their waiting room the demon cam to the front door and starting winking at the adventurer in a suggestive manner.



Team Adv: Hello Ma?am

Team Demon: I will eat your brain

Me: Happy hunting demon

Team Adv: Why you are a feisty lady

Me: Dude is a demon!

Team Adv: How dare you say such things about such a beautiful lady



I swear the demon blushed



Me: Its he MP?s pet Demon dude

Team Adv: Oh she is with him. Lucky bastard



The team mp just lets out a groan and shakes his head



Team Adv: Well lil lady I guess we shall have to remain just friends for now until i release you from the clutches of your evil master

Team Demon: I will eat your brain



Meanwhile



Team Doc: Mr Enforcer sir your hygiene leaves much to be desired, and you soldier boy and your school bully boy charm is nothing but rude you disgust me

Team Enf: Duh

Team Soldier: Well shove a poll up my arse and call me a lollipop



So the Enforcer not being too bright does exactly that

Team Enf: Lol E pop

Team Soldier: What the fuck was that for?

Team doc: You told him to do it and although it is disgusting it is rather amusing. Enforcer I like a man who can take orders

Team Soldier: Dang Dabbit



Back at the mission



So what am I to do? I got 3 dead team mates, a gay demon and a stupid adv and a mute who so far is the best for conversation



Me: Ok Demon you go in there and pull one of them out here and we can jump on them

Team Adv: Stop calling her that

Me: What?

Team Adv: Stop calling her a demon. She is a goddess

Me: Shut the hell up. Do you not find it funny she cam out of the room we left the demon in. "She" looks like a demon with those red eyes a badly fitting wig and a her skin is a greenie brown colour oh wait there is the fangs and claws aswell and the fact she only says ?I will eat your brain? which by a remarkable coincidence is what Loudmouth over there pet demon always said no to mention is as anatomically correct as a barbie doll????

Team Adv: What? That did not compute this goddess is no demon and I will not listen to your filthy lies



So he sticks his fingers in his ears and starts singing



Team Adv: La la la la LA Dum DI DUm DI la la la

Team demon: I will eat your brain!!

Me: Oh just do what your told will you.



So the demon starts walking into walls



To be continued?.
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Ahio

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Team From Hell
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2003, 05:06:16 PM »
Quote from: Qin
We had no hard hitters left apart from myself and the Adventurer oh and the mute MP.



Qin a hard hitter? Thats funny.  :D



And is this the same ghey demon from the deacs stories, or are all Demons in general ghey?

Offline GoldenEagle

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Team From Hell
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2003, 08:24:18 PM »
lol

thats a question for the mp's :)

Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #14 on: May 03, 2003, 11:33:30 AM »
Compared to the other toons in the team i would have been the hard hitter
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Tenzis

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Team From Hell
« Reply #15 on: May 03, 2003, 05:26:44 PM »
I just love this storry more and more ;) keep em commin ;)
There is a time for everyone, but that time can come faster if you step on a fixers foot.



SpawnyTenzis The Most Evil Fixer In The World And Goddess of War



Tenzis Fixer Unit Leader Storm

Tenzz Enf Applicant Storm

Tenzu Ma General Tempest

Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2003, 02:24:54 PM »
By Popular Request the story continues but i was kinda rushed at work so forgive me if its a wee bit crap





Meanwhile back at the reclaim



Team Soldier: Yeeehaw imma coming back boys

Team Doc: Just make sure you remove that poll from your bottom first

Team Enf: Duh

Team Doc: Mr Enforcer if you keep that up no healing for you.

Team Soldier: You don?t heal anyway all you do its bitch and moan

Team Doc: Hush!

Team Soldier: Lets get back before they forget about us



So the reclaim crew make their way back to the mission where all hell is breaking lose



Team Adv: Hey Mob get your hands off my woman!!!



In a fit of mad jealous rage the Adv is kicking some arse and he is doing well healing himself aswell with a little help from yours truly.



Mob3: Dude that?s no lady

Team Adv: Why is everyone soo mean to her, you will all PAY!!!!

Me: You know dude he has a point. After all he is the one that put it in a dress

Mob3: That?s right I did so don?t blame me for calling a spade a spade

Team Adv: LIES!!!! DIE!!!



So then the Adv lets loose a can of whoopass and takes mob3 down. Meanwhile is a small home in Omni 1



Mob3?s child: Mummy is daddy coming home soon?

Mob3?s Wife: I do hope nothing has happened to him I get so worried when he don?t turn up at the reclaim after 5 minutes I bet he?s been tortured for hours, Some little sod?s probably been healing him and then taking him down for hours

Mob3?s Child: Mummy what is a sod?

Mon3?s Wife: Erm?..



Just then the door bells goes



Mob3: Oh My God you would not believe what a day I have had

Mopb3?s Wife: your late I was getting worried

Mob3?s Child: Daddy your home

Mob3:What a bunch or morons, I almost died of laughter I swear these clanners are just getting more stupid by the minute



Back inside the mission



Mob2: OMG you killed Mob3 you Bastard

Mob1: He was soo young

Mob4: You just don?t care about his family do you.

Mob5: Its not his fault he was just posted guard duty that?s all



The opens behind us as we are getting a verbal from the mobs



Team Soldier: Yeeehaw I back and all you lousy varmints are gonna pay

Team Enf: Enf Smash!!!!!!!!

Team Doc: Now just be reasonable maybe we can talk about me and all get along

Me: Oh shit the cavalry are here

Team Demon: I will eat your brain!

Team Adv: You will all pay for what you have done to mi lady

Mob1: It?s a demon damn it man



Team Adv then slaughters Mob1  then mob2,4 and 5 jump on him and beat him senseless and I am also tempest to give them a helping hand. The the doc does something out of the ordinary she stops looking in the mirror and heals he Adv. Then everything stops.



Team Doc: Why is everyone stopping? All I did was heal the guy.

Me: Doc is that you

Team doc: Of course its me you sill little man

Me: its just so out of character for you to do something other than look in a mirror

Team Doc: Well as I was watching him get beaten to a bloody pulp rather quickly I thought I?d heal him up just so they can beat him again

Me: Your sick!!

Team Adv: Ok doc when this is over you and me in the Arena!

Team Doc: You would strike a woman?

Team Adv: Your no woman. That lady other there is a woman and far more attractive than you shall ever wish to be



The Adv is pointing to the blushing demon?.



To be continued?
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Tenzis

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Team From Hell
« Reply #17 on: May 09, 2003, 02:16:51 PM »
Qin i am laughin all the time ;) damn pls get the next one going ;) these are soooo fun to read.
There is a time for everyone, but that time can come faster if you step on a fixers foot.



SpawnyTenzis The Most Evil Fixer In The World And Goddess of War



Tenzis Fixer Unit Leader Storm

Tenzz Enf Applicant Storm

Tenzu Ma General Tempest

Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #18 on: May 09, 2003, 02:32:14 PM »
ok i'll post more up next week after all i need somthing to occupy my lunch break but i will have to see the results of the poll in order to decide where to go with the story. Was also thinking about running a poll after every new section to help people decide on where they want the story to go
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Offline Tolbat

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Team From Hell
« Reply #19 on: May 10, 2003, 07:18:00 PM »
HAHHAHAHAHA.. hohoho... /me falls of the chair.. HAhahahahah



post more :)

Offline Novalue

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Team From Hell
« Reply #20 on: May 13, 2003, 10:17:56 AM »
O M F G, heh keep em comming ;)
Jack "Gridspinner" Fever // Fixer.

--- "Healthpack" --- // Doctor.

Offline Systembug

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Team From Hell
« Reply #21 on: May 13, 2003, 11:30:12 AM »
:shock:   SO good!!



Actually been in teams like that :)
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Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #22 on: May 13, 2003, 11:35:47 AM »
Meanwhile



Team Fixer: Damn, fuck shit Broken Shores fuck he I jizz gobler come

Random Toon: Excuse me

Team Fixer: What?

Random Toon: Would you mind easing up on the language?

Team Fixer: I would if I could fucking help it shit face donkey sucker

Random Toon: Do we have to take this to the arena?

Team Fixer: I can?t fucking help swearing balls licker no need to get ago with me bitch

Random Toon: Tourettes?

Team Fixer: Hell yes bitch slapper

Random Toon: Ok then I apologies for having a go at you

Team Fixer: No problem Asshole



(last comment was not a result of the tourettes) So the Fixer then makes his way to the mission checking in on the reclaim just before he enters



Team Fixer: I am fuckin here

Team Doc: That?s disgusting such activity in an open area

Me: Fixer so you found us great -=sigh=-

Team Demon: I will eat your brain

Team Adv: ten 4 good buddy just in time

Team Soldier: Howdy

Team Enf: Duh

Team Fixer: Ok so whats the score bitch whore bastard

Me: So far well erm? nevermind just lets kill things ok

So the now extended party move onto the clear room with the Adventurer and the Demon holding hands and walking into walls together, while getting strange looks from the rest of the party. As we proceeded through the enemy headquarters we sent our resident bomb dispolsal unit to locate the mines up first.



BANG!!!!!

Team Enf: He he he he I found anodder one

Me: Nice work dude keep going

Team Enf: I am good Atrox I am

Team Doc: buffoon

Me: At least he is doing something useful as apposed to tarting about in a bikini

Team Doc: I know you want me no man alive could resist

Me: What the hell are you on about?

Team Doc: There is no shame in it Qin I am a beautiful woman and you well average in appearance, there is nothing wrong with wanting me every male on Rubika does

Me: Yeah ok what ever

Team Fixer: ARROGANT FUCKING BITCH

Team Soldier: Amen Brother

Team Fixer wasn?t me it was the tourettes honest



So for the next 15 minutes we hear a constant BANG followed by the sound of goofy laughter so we know the enforcer is having fun, also Rubika?s latest odd couple the Adv and the Demon are walking hand in hand staring longingly at eachother. The Soldier and Fixer seem to be hitting it off well and the Doc is trying to convince me that I fancy her and failing miserably.



Until we came across



To Be continued?.
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

Offline Tenzis

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Team From Hell
« Reply #23 on: May 13, 2003, 01:23:44 PM »
w00t ;) go fixer ;) heheh keep it commin ;)









Qin the pole dosn't work...
There is a time for everyone, but that time can come faster if you step on a fixers foot.



SpawnyTenzis The Most Evil Fixer In The World And Goddess of War



Tenzis Fixer Unit Leader Storm

Tenzz Enf Applicant Storm

Tenzu Ma General Tempest

Offline Qin

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Team From Hell
« Reply #24 on: May 13, 2003, 01:44:52 PM »
Hmm have to ask about that
iF yA DuN lIkE iT BiTe mE BiTcH!!!

 

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